A Serbian Film

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First off *SPOILER ALERT* Because it's hard to talk about this film without discussing certain scenes, that's all that really remains with you from this film, I mean I've never heard anyone referring to the plot when they talk about this.

I'd also like to point out that I don't feel this falls into the category of SHIT FILMS because if I'm honest I like this film in a disturbing kind of way, which feels like it says more about me than the film. I mean I know it isn't anything special and I'm sure it would make the same impact if it was made solely of certain scenes that have given the film the stigma that's attached to it, but I admire the balls of someone who whips shit like this up onto a screen just like I admire the courage of a man who displays his genitals in a crowded area, it shows determination and a belief in the importance of your cause. I also just want to know how you direct a scene where a man fucks a newborn baby, once an actor has gotten himself into the mind of that character it's got to be awkward looking him in the eye again afterwards, and I do mean eye not eyes as those of you who have seen the film will know.

Anyway, the film. Well it's about 100 minutes of sex. It also likes to gradually push the boundaries of what the audience is willing to accept. In that sense the film is a lot like anal sex, it's about as painful as I'd imagine it is to receive anal sex too. It eases you in with some uncomfortable scenes to start like a child watching a video of his father in a porn film, I won't even get into the morals of good parenting here, then it gradually pushes further with the guys brother watching another one of his brothers porn films while being fellated, at this point you feel like it was a bad idea starting this in the first place but little do you know this film hasn't even started fucking you yet.

The turning point is the now notorious 'baby fucking scene' as I'll call it. This is when the film turns from the once delicate lover into the violent sodomiser it really is. You really get a sense of what you're in for at this point and there's still a lot more to come. It starts to throw everything at you, gradually making you realise that it was a horrible idea to start this. So it has paedophilia, it also likes to throw in a bit of necrophilia, as we see our films hero Milos hack a womans head off with a machete whilst still fucking her, what makes this scene worse in retrospect is that it's not even the worst scene of the film, it leaves that title in my opinion to the climactic scene which throws in some more paedophilia, some incest for good measure and what feels like a cheeky bit of skullfuckery. This scene does what it was made to do and leaves you with your mouth wide open making really high pitched sounds of shock every twenty seconds like a deflating sex doll.
By the end of the film we begin to process and accept what has just happened, and the quite touching moment as the family pass away together just puts to rest the events of the film, and just as the film has removed it's shaft from your anus you feel like you can start putting it all behind you. The final line however, just drops it to a new low and it's like the moment you try and sit down and remember how painfully you were just fucked.
As with anal sex the film leaves you feeling awkward and quite ashamed with yourself, and it's hard to go back to the way you were beforehand, and I like it. Not anal sex though, it's not for me.

I can't really say if this film has done what it was made to do, Director Srdjan Spasojevic wanted to make a point about the Serbian government and rules of censorship, and I think he managed to make his point, but that's not what the film will be remembered for. This film just creates a benchmark of shock value, and I feel like nothing I see in a film will ever really shock me anymore.

Summary: A Serbian Film is Anal Sex.

Avatar

Before I start I want to ask, Why the hell did this film not make as much money when it was released back in 1995?
If you don't understand what I mean then quickly read over this:
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/130283/original.jpg

Yes. It is the same fucking film. James Cameron started writing it in 1994 and even when he saw this he thought he'd just re-release it with over the top visual effects (I assume he saw it because everyone has seen it. No exceptions).
I want to say that I did like the visual effects of 'Avatar' seeing as they were such a breakthrough and Cameron had wasted waited for so long for technology to catch up with his ideas of actors that aren't really actors. I want to be able to say that, but honestly after about 40 minutes that shit gave me a headache; it may have been due to the effects of 3D, or maybe because I knew I had to sit through nearly 3 fucking hours seeing a story I'd heard time and time again only this time it was done with blue cats.

What annoys me about 'Avatar' is how much money it made. I know that sounds like jealousy, but it's mainly because WTF? I don't know how Cameron churns out such bullshit, needlessly long films like his fairly two-dimensional 'Titanic' which made money off of menstrual teenage girls and their need for a love story (see also; Twilight) with stories that everyone knows the beginning, middle and end of *SPOILER* The fucking boat sinks.
Cameron might as well have just named it after its USP 'Cats on Acid' because that's what people were paying for. Anyone you saw queuing for that film had no idea what the story of that shit was, they just wanted to have their eyes melted with neon trees.
(If you want to watch Cats on Acid then here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJEw3A_QO9o  Now give me all of your money for my stolen film)

What actually annoys me most is that with this opinion I'm in the minority. The highest grossing film of all time has got to be pretty popular and I wonder if there's something I was missing. If I was watching it wrong. I can't help but get that thought out of my head. The only part of the film I enjoyed was when the Army guy with scars on his face (I don't care about his name) is in that Mecha-Robo suit and shivs the alien tiger thing in the stomach with a huge knife. That was a good shivving, but that's about 2 seconds of 162 minutes.
That's another thing, the only difference between the alien animals and animals on earth was they had an extra set of legs, which is pretty pointless because our animals seem to work fine.
That Jake Sully guy's a dick too, he does that tail connection thing with a pterodactyl and then the woman's like "Now you're connected for life" or some bullshit, then when that super pterodactyl comes along he's all over that, now his birds left to go and die in a ditch alone somewhere.

James Cameron must be doing something right. He directed the two highest grossing films of all time, I'll admit he's a good businessman. But a good director? No.

I'm not going to give this a score because if you haven't grasped my opinion of this film with what I just wrote then congratulations, you just wasted your time.

In the beginning...

This blog is dedicated to films. As the title suggests, shit ones.
For too long there have been many films that have worked to destroy film and the industry from the inside. Like some kind of shitty coup d'etat. I'm making it my mission to bring forward such traitors and shoot them in the proverbial face.

I'm not generally an angry person but everyone needs to vent and this is how I will be doing this.

I will only look deep into the meaning of a film if I find it entirely necessary. I don't think it will ever really require it with the shit I'll be picking to death.

Before I start I would like to address something:
 
This is my opinion. I'm not stating that my opinion is fact. What I am stating is that my opinion is closer to fact than yours. Unless you agree, in which case I'm glad we're on the same wavelength.

I will take any requests because I don't like searching for shit. It'll mainly be if something throws it's shitty self right in my face and smears itself everywhere. Then I might be inclined to beat the shit out of that shit. Verbally.

I do plan on reviewing Twilight, I have already planned it out in my head without having even seen the film yet. If you tell me to read the book I'll tell you to fuck off and stop wasting my time.
I'll be wasting enough time with the shit I'm making myself watch.

Don't tell me no one is forcing me to waste my time, I'm sure this idea was given to me by God. Satan has left these films on Earth and I believe God wants me to bring forward these sinners. If you argue with me you're arguing with God, and you can't win an argument with God so don't start.

I retain my Right to post anything I feel to be good enough that I must share it. I may also write about books or anything else that takes my fancy. I won't usually waste my time with shit books though because that's more time consuming and I reserve my reading time for good books.

If my attitude has angered you, no one has forced you to be here so fuck off. That is all.