3D has, is, and always will be a gimmick. It's used by studios who have a shitty film, and know it's a shitty film, and want to try and salvage some money from they're shitty train wreck. Even just to make money in general, in it's early days it didn't matter what you were seeing if the poster said 'In 3D which will blow your mind and destroy your face!'. The problem is what you did end up seeing was always the same, some purple heap of shit because of the multi coloured glasses you were wearing distorted any kind of colour in the film. There was no way of focusing on the story, you either sat with the glasses on, completely preoccupied by your disappointment in the 'Wonders' of three dimensions. Either that or you take them off and get a migraine staring at the blurry images, hoping they did no permanent damage to your eyes. Some however disregarded both of those reactions and stared at the shiny screen with their slack jaws, gawping at the figures coming at them thinking, 'I'm in da films'. That was what it was about, trying to give some sense of interaction, who wants to sit and watch a stupid story with stupid characters saying a bunch of words and doing a bunch of stuff in two dimensions when you can watch something in three dimensions where they come out of the screen and replace the friends that you don't have? An idiot, that's who.
Nowadays we've abandoned those cardboard blue and red pieces of shit in favour of more advanced technology like the wondrous 'RealD' technology, and I'm not going to lie, when I try and comprehend how the technology works it confuses me and makes my brain all sore, so like any sane person that doesn't understand something, I decided it's evil and must be abolished or at the very least ignored. The rekindling of 3D viewing in the last few years has turned cinema into some sort of three dimensional wankfest where anyone and everyone is blowing their money on making their films jump out and shout "Boo." It was forgivable with animated films because all the kiddies love anything unordinary like sitting in a dark cinema wearing sunglasses, the fucking idiots. When it's spread onto films targeted at mature audiences though is when it feels like it's taking the piss and this is when I start to get pretty pissed off. It's so annoyingly fucking condescending, wanting me to be impressed by this shiny new technology like they're rubbing their cock in my face going "Yeah you like that don't you bitch?! Put it in your mouth!". I've spent most of my life watching regular films on a regular two dimensional screen and I've been more than happy, but now they're shoving this down our throats like it will somehow make it better. If I wanted to be in a three dimensional world I'd go outside and live my life instead of sitting in the dark room that smells of popcorn and faint odours of piss, surrounded by a bunch of pricks that are there because they had nothing better to do and won't shut the fuck up. I couldn't care less about how many fucking dimensions I'm watching this in, just fucking entertain me. Also, stop charging me extra for this third dimension, I get it everywhere else for free. What's really depressing is that I know there are some fully grown people that actually enjoy it more because of the three dimensions, the sort of people that loved 'Jackass 3D', I think of these people and their collective idiocy makes me want to shoot up and American high school to make some sort of statement and then get it blamed on Marilyn Manson, because that's what people do when they're pissed off. The 3D Disney films about Hannah Montana or that fucking Justin Bieber piece of shit should count as some sort of abuse to the eyes and mind of the worlds youth, sexing them up for profit. Disney Whores.
Not content with forcing this shit down my throat when I go to the cinema it now seems like the 3D Satan is breaking into my house to rub his dick in my face again and all over my things. It seems like major networks are jumping on the 3D bandwagon, and now 3DTV's are the next big thing. I wish I could simply ignore it but it feels like it's going to go the same way as HDTV's, they'll be mandatory by the year 2015, the year we should have been travelling through time and doing something about Marty's kids. Any older forms of televised entertainment will be erased from history and we'll all be marching under the banner of this 3D Big Brother being forced to comply. It's creeping it's way into all forms of televised entertainment, games are adding all this 3D shit now, and one day that'll probably piss everyone off by being mandatory too. We can only hope that civilisation will realise how retarded it's being and abandon the 3D project altogether, leaving everyone who's invested in these 3DTV's crying over the money they wasted on such shit, what sort of bastard wants to wear those weird goggles watching TV? I feel nerdy enough when someone walks in on me playing games alone with that weird concentration face people pull, how sad would I look wearing those shitty goggles? I'd rather get caught masturbating.
It seems like there's no going back, we're stuck being dragged painfully towards this inevitable future, stuck with shit like 'Avatar', they're making at least two more of those shit heaps. Which will inevitably make more money than a small country and set us back another 50 years, but I'm not going to get started on this again. Looks like we'll have to brace for this bleak gimmicky future that'll screw us for money for something we don't even want.
The 3D revolution is here, and it's fucking televised.
